Saturday, June 4, 2011

How to Break Up From the Long-Term Relationship

Most of us with a conscience have difficulty ending a relationship that has crossed over the ONE-YEAR mark. We become tired of the other significantly less, significant other. Their natural habits become too-much to stand after a while when we realize the other person is not going to change.

Perhaps the sex is great, but afterwards, you stare at the ceiling wishing you could communicate on more than a sexual level with your partner. Perhaps you are great "friends" and the sex is non-existent.

One thing I have learned is that no matter what may be great or wrong with your relationship, after one-year with someone, you know deep-down if it's going to work or not. And many times, we realize well before the first year is over, that the relationship is starting to decompose faster than a dead fish in a steamy hot cesspool.

Yet, the process of actually, cutting the life-line to the relationship is almost never easy, save one of those special occasions such as walking into your house to find your girlfriend spread eagle with a Ron Jeremy look-alike on top.

When you're together with someone for the long-term, it's hard to randomly bring the subject of breaking up, up. This becomes even more difficult if you're living together, sharing expenses, and have become accustomed to a regular routine involving your partner. It's almost always easier to let things be, even if it's not the optimal situation.

Think about all the stubborn Catholics that will stay married until their spouses die, even if they are the ones to kill them.

Yet, when you're not happy with your b or g-friend, make the change, it's worth it in both the long and short run. The last thing you want is to turn 50 and have three unwanted kids with an unwanted wife or husband. Children all deserve good parents, that is why it is incumbent upon you to find that special person, if you truly want your family to have a fair chance staying together for life.

So how do you make the change once you realize it's time? This is the tricky part. As I said, if you can't muster the courage to just spit it out, then try some liquid courage. I've heard tequila makes people mean angry drunks. All you may need is a few shots and some pre-written speaking points on the flaws of the relationship to get the change ball rolling.

Maybe, you are the "playa" and would prefer to end the relationship in bed with a pre-planned affair.

There is always the chance that even if you say horrible things while drunk, or show your lover how you make love to others in your own bed, that your significant other will find a reason to forgive you, and try and prolong the relationship even longer.

Yet, there is one way to keep the unwanted, soon to be ex, out of sight, mind, and truly end the affair:

Get assaulted! Yes, when your lover slaps you in the middle of the street because you've been "flirting with other women," make sure a patrol car is coming by right at the moment of the event to arrest your now quasi-ex.

The State will put a protective or restraining order on your significant other from being within a certain amount of feet from you and your residence.

If you were living together, you'll have to have one person move out. If you were living apart, well you'll just have to legally stay apart.

There is no real guilt, and you can blame the law instead of each other.

Hey I can vouch for this method of breaking up. It really worked wonders for me.

Let me know how the rest of you fair.

Tonight's B-Word.

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