Thursday, May 19, 2011

Arnold! Arnold! Arnold! Love Babies & Politics

It's rather difficult to keep a sex scandal from hitting the front-page of every newspaper in the country. Especially if you are the former Governor of California, and you have movie credits such as The Terminator, Predator, Junior, Kindergarden Cop, True Lies, Last Action Hero, T2, T3, and even Jingle All the Way (I'm still waiting for those 2 hours of my life to be given back to me).

What makes this scandal so more impressive than your garden variety, intern blow-job, is that it happened when Arnold Schwarzenegger wasn't even in office when the sex scandal occurred. Who knows if he was even thinking about a political career at that time either? What is certain, is that the rather homey looking Latin lover, Mildred Baena (seen below), that also was a paid housekeeper of Arnold realized that keeping the secrecy of their love child was going to pay off for a long, long, time. Have you seen the housekeeper's digs? Damn, I'll have a love child with Arnold if he pays me the big bones to keep my mouth shut, unless of course his penis is in it at the time.

Let's take a step back for a moment. I know countless people throughout my great journeys that have many a love child. Is it really that awful to have a baby out of wedlock these days? Many people actually prefer it that way as there is no assumed responsibility from the other baby-maker that perhaps wants nothing to do with the baby, other than conception.

The big beef about Arnold's situation is that he was married to the beautiful Maria Shriver at the time. And, as tough as Arnold may seem in the movies, if you've ever seen a picture of Maria's father, the late Sargent Shriver, I'd have waited until he died too to unleash the news. He was a really hardcore mofo, & first Director of the Peace Corps. (seen below)


Surely, we can't feel anything but contempt for Arnold at this time. He lied to the country about his falandering, but we all knew he was lying, so I suppose we only have ourselves to blame for that one. Does anyone believe Bill Clinton didn't grope, harass, and or [enter sexually promiscuios word here] with Jennifer Flowers?

We now feel bad for Maria, who after defending her man, unknowingly falsely, much like Hillary did in the late 1990's. Maria looks like a fool for believing a man that in Pumping Iron, a documentary about Arnold's weight-lifting competition with Lou Ferrigno (seen below), over Mr. Universe, stated how he keeps "cumming and cumming" all day. Perhaps because weightlifting gives you a natural high, or perhaps because he was nailing any tail that happened to enter his T-800 infrared vision.

Whatever the case, this situation sure provides the media with a nice little train wreck that will only permanently scar the love child, and Maria Shriver for life.

Isn't entertainment so much more enjoyable when it ends with a bang?!?!

Today's B-Word.

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