Saturday, April 23, 2011

It's Official, I'm running for Mayor of Cumberland!

November 2014 is so close I can almost taste it. Only 3 years and 7 months away. These days the election cycles start very early, especially for the big races.

The current Mayor of Cumberland is Brian Grim. He's really not a cool guy. I talked to him on the phone and he was a real ass to me, giving cryptic answers about everything I asked. I started to feel sick when I remembered I voted for him. I suppose everyone makes mistakes in life. At least a politician can placate their constituents with a facade of kindness if necessary. Lazy bum!

Therefore I am proud to announce that if I am still living in Cumberland in 2014, I am running for Mayor of Cumberland!

And, if I run, I'm going to win Mr. Grim. Hopefully you'll be grateful for the privilege of being Mayor for one-term. Seriously Brian, you've done nothing! You are never out talking to the public. There are no initiatives to galvanize the City. I've been all around the City since I moved here from Hagerstown. I've met hundreds of people in the time I've been here. They are almost all unhappy. People make jokes at Cumberland's expense everyday. We believe that we are doomed to a agonizing existence here because there is nothing. I mean NOTHING! We have no good jobs for unskilled workers, we have unemployment, Mc jobs, and no hope for a better life.

I don't want change! I want PROGRESS! Let's build it. Let's invent it. Let's make the City thrive.

How you ask can this happen? Jobs, and I mean if you are able bodied and can learn, you have a job. Cumberland Maryland needs to become the model of the 21st century city. This is a great opportunity to not only bring in enormous revenue for the City, but also cut the cost of electricity down to nothing.

Solar panels & wind turbines. The Appalachians provide some of the strongest winds in the country as we saw this past winter. The facade on my deck was broken in several places from the gusts.

We need to put Cumberland to work building the largest clean solar and wind farm that we can afford. Let's call it project "Green Stream."

Not only will Cumberland benefit monetarily, the City will be alive again, not shrinking. People will hear about our project and hear there are jobs. They will come and renovate some of the condemned properties that are making the City look like parts of Detroit. It is truly sad to see so many abandoned and broken down houses. Cough up the money to fix your house or level it, PERIOD. Make some lovely park space for kids and dogs.

Well now you know my platform as I run for Mayor. It's out in the open. If I'm elected, I'll get project "Green Stream" from an idea into reality. What great project or action has Brian Grim achieved? It's hard to tell there is anybody here.

Today's B-Word.

3 comments:

  1. It is actually an online guide which includes procedures on how to make solar power all by ourselves. As a matter of fact, there are already various earth 4 energy guides available on the worldwide web.

    ReplyDelete
  2. I believe in the future, adding solar panels will be easier than putting up x-mas lights.

    Cool take.

    B.

    ReplyDelete
  3. There is a chance you're eligible for a new government sponsored solar rebate program.
    Find out if you're eligble now!

    ReplyDelete

Criminal of the Year 2017 Goes To...